Happy F$&%ing Birthday

So it's my precious baby girls 7th birthday in like a nanosecond and what do I decide to do last minute? Yes. Make her a homemade gift. "Wait", you say, "back the truck up Jack". Okay maybe that's not exactly what came out of your mouth but a few of you were thinking it. And some of you didn't say "truck" (hint hint, it rhymes). 

I do not do homemade gifts. Strange? Yes. I do homemade other things just not gifts for my kids. Enter brilliant idea three days before her birthday... a doll! Made by Mommy! Yay! This will take me one evening. Two tops.

     DAY ONE:

 I stopped photographing the evidence of my downfall at this point. The arms! Oh the arms were killing me. They didn't seem so tiny. Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! 

Here is the scene I pictured when this asinine brilliant idea came to me just three days before Only Daughters birthday.

Me: "Honey, here is a special gift just from Mommy". Holds back tears as Chef quietly takes photos for posterity.

Luca: "Oh Mommy!" Throws arms around my neck at the same time as she flings all other gifts into a corner (including, and especially, the goddamn iPod Touch that we caved and finally got for her).

Everyone in Attendance (her two stinky brothers): Cheering "Long live Mommy!"


Camille said...

OMG I am laughing so hard right now. And also crying a little because I did the same thing for MY daughter's birthday in November. Except mine were supposed to be party favors. Huge Fail.

Lydia said...

Hysterical! I live reading your blog!

Lydia said...

Oops, meant to say "love",

Cricket said...

Sasha you slay me. You aren't the only mother having that (recurring) daydream but it will never happen in my house either. And don't you dare let *my* seven year old know that *your* seven year old is getting her own iPod touch!

Clover said...

This is why I havent started THE DOLL yet. Because I know she will go "oh wow" "here Noah(her baby brother) you can have it" and run off to do something else.

Millie said...

I decided to make my 4yr old niece a doll a year ago, when she was in hospital with pneumonia...she was almost home before I got it (and all her accesories) made! She was cute though.....they're not as easy as the look...in fact I have given up on all softies!

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